The world would be better with less Viagra.
Mood:  don't ask
I really like my job, except when some purvey old man comes in thinking that a massage means he's entitled to something more than having his back rubbed. I knew that eventually I would have to encounter some sex-starved low-life asking me to give him a full body release, but I was still taken by surprise the first time. Of all places too! A Doctor's office. At the time I was working for a Chiropractor, doing therapeutic massage on patients. A very grandfather-ly gentleman walked in because of a trial promotion we were offering. I guess that should have been the first hint that there was a problem because, who just walks in off the street to a Doctor they have never met before and wants treatment that day? He seemed nice enough though. Kind of Mr. Rogers like, with his cardigan sweater and white ked shoes. The massage went OK for the first 10 minutes. Then, I could have sworn that he was making some weird thrusting movement. I tried to ignore it. Maybe it was all in my head, but no, his butt cheeks where clenching up. I was disgusted, but really had no reason to stop the massage, so I just kept my mind on my work. Three strokes on the forearm, now five on the upper arm. Finally it came time to flip him over on his back. I was slightly apprehensive but had to continue. I guess he didn't need Viagra. The drape(sheet) looked like he was planning a camp out. GROSS geezer-woody! They taught us in school that an erection can be a physiological response and not to assume that it was entirely sexual, so again I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume it was innocent. His thrusting kept on and reached a pinnacle (no pun intended) when as I am lifting his head to massage his neck muscles he sees "himself". I thought I was going to lose it. I still thought that geriatric Ron Jeremy wanna-be was the last I'd see. I've had a few more sightings of wood from some mostly embarrassed men but no bad behavior till yesterday. This one topped the first. There again I should have known something was up when he wanted to get started with the massage immediately after a walk-in tour of the spa. Not only did he molest the table during the massage, but he was laying in the wrong end of the table spread out in all his glory when I first walked in. I think my eyes are permanently scarred from seeing old man cockenballs. SIR you have to be under the sheet I shouted through the slamming door. I thought I was keeping myself from being any further traumatized, no such luck. After I was sure that he was finally under the sheet I sucked it up and went into the room. After fussing about how I had asked him to lie on the table, he started to complain that I was "too sensitive". I politely but firmly told him that proper draping was the law and that he was free to get his services elsewhere if he chose. Of course he said no, that would have been too easy for me!! So I went on with the massage. I guess about 10-15 minutes into it he starts clenching him "cheeks". The first thought that ran through my head was not another humper. Sure enough he was a grinding the table full force within a minute. My gut reaction was kick him out, but my head said wait until you can at least charge him for the half hour and then kick him out. So i closed my eyes and tried to focus on what I needed to get done and how long it would take me to do it. At the half hour i started to think to myself, if he stays under the sheet and doesn't flash me again I can finish the next 30 minutes and get paid for the full hour. Nothing says I have to take him as a client again. IT got worse before it got better though. He started saying things like "right there, oh baby massage it, that's the spot". FREAK!!! But I was too far in to stop now, but I was a nervous wreck because in the next couple of minutes I would have to turn him to the front and lord knows what would happen. It was risky. He could have a hard-on that I'd have to look at the rest of the time. He could flip the sheet back and expose himself again, or worse grab my hand to touch himself. I was freaking out the entire time, but it had to be done. I don't know what I thought was more shocking what I had envisioned happening or what actually took place. Once I finally got up the nerve and asked him to turn over, he was a perfect angel. Not a THING!! He did nothing weird, said nothing weird. He acted like he had been a perfect gentleman the entire time. When it came time to pay he did without a complaint and even left a $20 tip, promising of course that he'd be back! Although at that point I was more concerned that he had left part of himself back on the table!

This is my spa life
Mood:  cheeky
I am a massage therapist at a spa in a very southern city. I started writing because it's an outlet for some of the crazy crap that happens working where I do. Some of you might think there are much more exciting sites out there and you are probably right, so what are you waiting for? LEAVE!....If you are still with me then, welcome to my weird world. I am just a normal person (if anyone can say they are normal) doing a bit of venting, hopefully you'll find it somewhat entertaining because I'd hate to think that this stuff happens for no other purpose than to torture me.